Hey. Hey, you. Yeah, it's me. Your hair. I know I don't often speak up, but this has been going on for a while now and I'm really not happy any more. Did you realise that all of the other body parts are laughing at me? "You look rubbish," the nose keeps sneering, and the armpit won't stop making fun of my tangled roots.
So if you think I'd deserve something really nice (and I really do – isn't it fun to flick me about when you see someone you find attractive?) then why not treat me to a wash, cut, conditioning treatment and blow dry from a senior stylist at The Salon? It'll cost you just £12 with today's deal. That'll show those uppity elbows.