This day is like any other day of the year. The sun rises and sets. It will most likely rain. You are kind and have much empathy for your loved one. You already know the following 5 things, but just a little reminder when on the 14th of February it’s time for dinner…
There is nothing worse than the we saw you coming set menu and no more so than on Valentine’s day. Surrounded by icky couples on every table, you know you are better than this restaurant. You are a great cook! You have Champagne at home, and a shiny ice bucket! What are you doing here? Go and use your new le creuset pan and make something wonderful.
2) Red Wine
Do not drink red wine if it gives you a vampiric smile. Dark crimson stained teeth protruding from a wide grin. You are having a great time! (You’ve drunk too much). She is definitely smiling back at me! (She’s grimacing). Rewind and choose a picpoul de pinet – normally second or third from top on most wine lists if you took the plunge and are in a restaurant.
For obvious reasons. But hey, if you must, make sure you both have the garlic. The power of two negatives.
4) Eat Too Much
“Just a wafer thin mint sir?” If you question the gratuitous mint or are struggling at pudding, god forbid, you have failed. You have eaten too much. Postprandial turgor will set in and will not abate until the morning after. You cannot even muster the strength for a quick spot of trivial pursuit let alone anything else.
Do not spend valentine’s day team of one. Like Christmas this is another time when you should be with friends and family. Stay in, invite your best mates round, have some beers, open your favourite bottle of wine, eat doritos, pizza and ben & jerrys cookie dough for afters, watch athletic people play sport or put on a trashy film – you get the picture.
ps. your local Majestic store is running free wine courses this spring – an alternative idea for a date, maybe not on valentine’s day though.
How Not To Wine & Dine On Valentine’s Day
Since Kent is known as the garden of England, we reckon that the Mercure Maidstone is a rather lovely water feature within that garden. You see, this welcoming hotel boasts an excellent indoor heated swimming pool as well as a sauna and Jacuzzi. It’s the perfect place to relax in the garden of England and thatnks to today’s kgbdeal you can take a jaunt into the garden for less…
For today’s kgbdeal we’ve teamed up with the superb Mercure Maidstone, to bring you a one-night Maidstone spa break for just £59. The package includes bed, breakfast, a bottle of wine when you dine in The Arts Brassiere and access to the hotel’s spa. All this would usually set you back up to £149, which means we’re delivering a blooming marvellous discount of up to 60%.
about the Mercure Maidstone
This impressive Maidstone hotel is set within 26 acres of private grounds and is just minutes from junction eight of the M20 and close to the channel ports and Eurotunnel. The hostel boasts 126 contemporary guest rooms, all of which offer internet access and satellite TV. Why not indulge yourself at the Arts Bar and Grill after making the most of the indoor pool, fitness centre and a nine-hole golf course?
Call us cynical but we suspect the only people who can afford to live in stately country houses these days are bankers and footballers. For the rest of us it’d be more likely that we’d have a pink rhinoceros than four acres of rolling parkland. But if you fancy a taste of the good life – complete with the four acres – then look no further than today’s kgbdeal…
For today’s offer we’ve teamed up with the friendly team at The Pilgrim Country House Hotel, to bring you a rather grand two-night Herefordshire getaway for just £79. The package includes bed and breakfast for two with breathtaking panoramic views, plus a bottle of wine if you dine in the hotel’s restaurant. All this would usually set you back up to £200, which means we’re delivering a discount of 61%. That’s a champagne lifestyle on a lemonade budget – and not a pink rhinoceros in sight!
about The Pilgrim Country House Hotel
Whatever your reason for visiting The Pilgrim, you will be assured of a warm welcome and a relaxing experience at this lovely Herefordshire Country House Hotel. The hotel itself can be found nestled in four acres of rolling Wye Valley parkland between Hereford, Ross on Wye and Monmouth, as such it offers some breathtaking views. Free Wi-Fi is available throughout the hotel and guests are also bound to enjoy the restaurant, bar, terrace and comfortable en suite rooms.
If the mere thought of all the work ahead of you has you coming out in a rash, relax. Today’s kgbdeal can transport you to a more peaceful place, where you can absorb the sight of rooftops amidst lush fields and twinkling trees – without half the city’s population treading on your feet…
For just £99 you can book a two-night stay for two at The Wild Boar Country House Hotel in Cheshire. Enjoy an idyllic short break with breakfast in beautiful countryside, and save up to 68% whilst you’re at it. What’s more, you’ll have every reason to smile in the office, safe in the knowledge that this luxury break lies ahead.
about The Wild Boar Country House Hotel
One of the finest sites in Cheshire, this elevated Tudor-style residence is set amongst sweeping manicured lawns. Each spacious guest room is individually designed and features a digital TV, plus all the mod-cons you would expect from a premium hotel. If you enjoy fine food, do book a table at the Parisian-style Brasserie – it’s not to be overlooked.
There’s no doubt about it, Yorkshire really does have it all. From picturesque countryside hills, beautiful heritage gardens, intriguing history, local eateries and more, there’s not much you won’t fall in love with in this incredible county. So if you’re yet to take a trip to this top destination, today’s kgbdeal could be the perfect excuse…
For just £119 you can enjoy a two-night break at the snug Burn Hall Hotel in Yorkshire, and save up to 60% on what would normally cost up to £307. What’s more, you’ll even receive breakfast, a three-course meal and a bottle of wine when you dine on the first night, plus a bottle of wine should you decide to indulge in a warming gourmet treat in Richardson’s restaurant on the second night too.
about Burn Hall Hotel
Set in picturesque North Yorkshire, Burn Hall Hotel delivers a service that is as outstanding as its surroundings. Dedicated to exceeding your expectations, the experienced team are committed to accommodating your every need. Whether that’s enjoying a delicious à la carte meal in Richardson’s restaurant or a good night’s sleep in one of the en-suite bedrooms, you are guaranteed a relaxing experience here.